I found this quote today on another blog, it says "You are your own problem and you are your own solution." Now, this SPOKE to me for a number of reasons.
First, I had my Skype session with my nutritionist (finally!) the other night. It is always good to get both a professional's and outsider'ss opinion on things. She did make me feel better by telling me that I am really grasping some of the concepts of intuitive eating. She also told me that I am too hard on myself. (DUH!) I always have been tough on myself, not sure why. I can only assume it is one of the qualities of being a perfectionist, fabulous! Anyway, basically being too hard on myself will only slow progress in this path to intuitive eating. Ding ding...there I am being my own problem.
Second, again in the session, as we were chatting she was kind of making me think of WHY I sometimes get so anxious around food or in certain situations involving food. A light bulb went off. I tend to "take on" other people's emotions or I worry about if others around me are having a good time. I don't worry or pay attention to myself. Therefore, I am not self-aware and cannot really engage in intuitive eating. I figured this out by explaining a story from the weekend when Jeremy had been rather grumpy and I just assumed it was something I did (again, taking responsibility for nothing!) and that put me in a funk and unfortunately led to me kind of falling off my intuitive eating wagon. Again, being my own problem.
Third, as I was just pondering all of these light bulb moments that were arising this morning. I also thought about another issue. I never really SLOW down per say. I am always up and moving from one thing or another, especially in the evenings when I get home from work. Or, as Jeremy will tell you, when I try to watch a movie! Anyway, in this rush to get things done for the next day, or house chores done, I also rush my meals or decisions about what to have. Again, by doing so I cannot engage in intuitive eating. I can't really listen to my body, what it wants, what it needs, when I am full. Ding ding ding Jen...being your own problem again!
So, as I realize that I am my own problem in a number of instances here, I can also, as the quote says, become my own solution. See, I think with this intuitive eating process I believed it would just all come to me at once and be easy. Oops, WRONG! I realized this before my session with my nutritionist started. I guess it is because before I have always taken the "easy" and rather unhealthy route when it came to food, I just restricted and ignored my body. This is the complete polar opposite of what I am doing now! So this is all way out of my comfort zone and a change!! But, it is also the SOLUTION to what I have been struggling with for so long.
How am I going to be my own solution to some of the problems I make for myself? Well, this is how. First, I need to SLOW down. Now, this will take quite a bit of effort as I am Type A and that won't change. But I need to realize that life will still happen, it doesn't all have to be done at once. I also need to incorporate the idea of intuitive eating, that food will be there regardless, don't have to rush meals. Take time. Savor. I may also try a yoga class or DVD once a week. And really make an effort to do so, as I have made this promise to myself before and obviously gotten nowhere. Another thing I can do to solve my problems above is realize that more often than NOT other people's moods and emotions have nothing to do with me. That the ONLY person I am responsible for is myself. That I am in charge of my own happiness and moods and that's it. I am not responsible for others. OF course I will still be happy and pleasant and aid in promotion of good moods, but I can't change the way people think or feel. LIGHT BULB!!!
I believe this what one calls progress and I am feeling good about it. Finally, after a month or so of struggling. So, here's to everyone being their own solution!
I have always been a little scared of change. However, as scared as I am of change, it is time to CHOOSE to change in my life. I have been struggling with disordered eating for about six years and not living the healthy lifestyle that I really do WANT TO live. So, I want to share my journey to changing and recovery to maybe connect with those who are dealing with similar issues in their lives.
Showing posts with label progress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label progress. Show all posts
Thursday, March 8, 2012
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