Getting a Little Easier

     Monday again, but I can handle this kind of Monday when its as gorgeous as it was here today! Springtime is here I believe and I love it! Makes it really feel like baseball season is around the corner, and it pretty much is. Thank goodness! After a fabulous, low key weekend involving getting my hair done (THANK you Karlee!), window shopping and having lunch with my family I was rested and feeling good.
     I am also beginning to see that this all isn't that hard. I just need to not take it so seriously and be so hard on myself. Like my nutritionist recommended. I mean don't get me wrong it is hard but relaxing about it does make it easier! I also started tracking my food online at myfitnesspal.com which helps as well (thanks again Karlee for the recommendation!). Some would think the tracking would maybe send me back into some of my old traps and habits. But really, now, its kind of the opposite. I see exactly what I am putting in my body, how I am treating it. And sometimes it encourages me to do better, and that sometimes means feeding it more and better. It really is helping me for now and I like it.
     So, after a month or so long snit over all this I am feeling a lot more confident and less stressed about it. Finally. Nice to be here. Also nice to see some of my pants that didn't fit quite the way I wanted when I started this feeling a bit better. Always a bonus and right on par with what my nutritionist said, slow and steady. I guess this patience thing takes some learning, but beginning to feel so worth it!

Calories In, Calories Out

     So, I finally put it down on paper today. I wrote it out so I could see it. I calculated my caloric needs per day. Turns out, no surprise here and as my nutritionist warned, I am well under where I need to be calorically. According to  these calculations, with my activity level and age , to maintain my weight I need about 2,300 calories a day. Yes, 2,300. Whoa. Needless to say I am not eating 2,300 calories a day. So, while I don't need to hit this number exactly I do need to increase my caloric intake. By eating more,  both my therapist and nutritionist  have assured me before and again now,  I won't gain weight. Rather, I will gain muscle and likely even lose a little weight. Not that that is a goal for me, but not going to lie, it's a perk for every gal.
     Although I have taken some huge strides forward, I do still hold onto a few fears, I can't lie. I do still fear eating TOO much and clearly my calculations on my calories in are off. So, today's calculations help to lift my fear some. The encouragement of my therapist and nutritionist help a bunch as well. But, most of all, my desire to be healthier, get stronger (not just skinny) and to be comfortable around and with food drives me to put my mind to it and just do it. Not to sound like a Nike commercial. But, anyone that knows me knows that I am a tad bit stubborn, and I plan to use that stubbornness to my advantage in this situation. To not give up, to keep forging on. To be the healthiest Jen I can be!
    

Great News! Great Dinner!

     The Dunham's got some EXCELLENT news today! Today we found out that my father in law is CANCER free!! He had been diagnosed with prostate cancer last May, had surgery in July and has been recovering since. The last PSA test (the test that indicated if cancer is present) was really low, but today it was ZERO!! This is absolutely fantastic news!!
     To celebrate this good news, and the fact that it is American Idol night, it was pizza night in the Dunham household tonight. I didn't mention in my last post about our pizza nights here that Jeremy makes all the crust and bread sticks from scratch, and let me tell you AMAZEBALLS!! Tonight we made my pizza a little differently and grilled the crust up first then topped it with all my veggie deliciousness!! I even added some new toppings tonight, roasted garlic and spinach along with the usual veggies and some light sprinkling of cheese. I even tried some red pepper flakes!It was SO good. It was cracker thin crust and hit the spot!! I ate all but one piece of what we named the "Squirt" pizza. The pups and Jeremy enjoyed the last piece. I can't wait to have this again and add even more new toppings or maybe a new cheese! It is so nice to enjoy a dinner experience and ignore or disregard negative thoughts. In fact tonight, there were none. Another step in the right direction I believe.
    Now after this day of fabulous news and a delicious dinner we are relaxing on the couch watching the Idol contestants try to make it through Hollywood week. Hope everyone is having a fabulous Wednesday as well.

Opposites Attract

     Like Paula Abdul once sang, "Opposites attract". As far as the eating habits of Dunham and I this couldn't be more true! I have mentioned before on my blog that Jeremy doesn't necessarily share an intrest in healthy eating and cooking like I do. Well, that was made all the more apparent tonight. I came home from a tough workout with Susie. He cooked me a chicken breast and I made a big spinach salad with lots of goodies like beans, a little avacado, a little cheese, veggies and topped with a salsa ranch dressing I made. It was quite tasty and filling. Now, Dunham on the other hand. He made himself a 3/4 pound cheeseburger with onion and American cheese. And for his side dish he tested out his trusty new deep fryer and made some french fries and cheese balls. Yes, cheeseballs at home! He was in burger and fried food heaven. I have to say I tried a couple fries and he did pretty good! The dinner experience tonight made me giggle and think.
     Yes, I am focused on healthy eating and heating and fitness in general. I like this lifestyle I am building for myself.  However, I have to say sometimes I wish I was more like Jeremy. Someone who could just kind of give into what they really want to have for a night, screw calories. Don't get me wrong, I have done this, often with a few cocktails in me, but there are times when in the middle of the week I want to throw caution to the wind . But I never do. Now I know it wouldn't kill me or make me blow up like a hot air balloon. I realize this now, believe me before I would have agonized. I can't honestly say if I did give in that I would not have any negative thoughts, because they are still there. What I can honestly say is that I know I can  eat my "forbidden foods" if I want them, but truthfully now that I am eating healthier and more balanced, realizing how I will feel after eating those foods stops me. Thinking about how I will feel makes me rethink the idea or recreate it in a healthier recipe. This my friends, is part of the intuitive eating process that I am beginning to understand. That I am allowed to eat that food but that sometimes realizing how it makes me feel overall plays a role in the decision to eat that food. I think my nutritionist would be proud.
     So, I am pretty glad Dunham made his ginormous fried food and burger feast, it made me understand more about this intuitive eating process I am going through. I know he is glad too by the cheesy burger eating grin on his face!

More New Recipes!

     Another Monday behind me! To perk up a regular ol' Monday I decided to try some new recipes tonight! On the menu was a broccoli-mushroom casserole from the website of the author of Operation Beautiful. It was relatively easy to put together, just broccoli, cheese, low fat cream of mushroom soup, brown rice and a little milk and egg. Here are the pictures of the casserole construction:

Mixing it all up

Done and Bubbly

Plated up with a side salad

      I enjoyed two good helpings and have a good amount to take to a co-worker to try tomorrow.  Jeremy tasted it too, again he decided it would be better with way more cheese and way more of REAL cream of mushroom soup. He clearly isn't getting this healthy recipe thing, but oh well. After dinner it was on to dessert.
     I found a couple new "dessert" recipes to try over the past couple days. Last night I found a recipe on a website called Chocolate Covered Katie for an "ice cream" made of almond milk, vanilla, sweetener and a pinch of salt. I made a vanilla version last night and it was pretty good over a Vita Top muffin top. I decided to make a second batch of this ice cream for tonight with some chocolate chips in it. Turned out ok, but I liked the vanilla better. If you know me, I am really a VANILLA ice cream girl at heart. Anyway, it wasn't a total loss because I put it on top of the new protein bars I made this evening. I found the recipe for these protein bars while messing around on a health website today. It was pretty easy to make, it consisted of cocoa powder, oat flour, egg whites, protein powder, baby food (yes really) and baking soda. They turned out a little spongy with a light chocolate flavor. Now, Jeremy wasn't a huge fan of these, I think he may have been dramatic and called them disgusting. I think they are pretty good for being protein bars! I put one in a bowl and topped it with my almond milk ice cream and it was a pretty tasty (and healthy) semi-chocolatey evening snack.
    I have to say I never thought it would happen but I actually DO like this cooking thing. I like trying the new recipes and sharing them with others. It is really weird to hear myself say (well type) that. I am also making a big effort this week to add more protein to my meals as suggested by my nutritionist. This whole eating healthier business is all easier when I don't fight it, hmph..who woulda thought (right Mom?)!

Sunday Already?

     Here it is Sunday already! How and why do weekends fly by so fast? Oh well, it was a fun one. Jer and I had fun in St. Louis last night. Watched a good basketball game and had fun with friends we hadn't see in awhile. It was a good evening.
     I was proud of myself when we went to dinner last night before we went out. We went to a restaurant near Busch Stadium, J Bucks, that has really good food. While looking over the menu I was tempted to get my usual or something "safe". Instead, I went with what I really wanted which was a chicken sandwich. Yes, just a chicken sandwich. But before I would have ignored what I really wanted and had something "safe". But I had my chicken sandwich with some fruit on the side and I was satisfied, full and proud. Having a good dinner also didn't lead to me being a hot mess when I starting having some cocktails. Also, later in the evening when we had some tasty late night snacks, I wasn't ravenous (hungry yes). Funny, it does work.
     So, now we are vegging on the couch with some snacks for the Superbowl cooking in the crock pot. We are looking forward to hopefully some good commercials and a good game later. Happy Lazy Sunday everyone.

Spreading More Positivity

     Rainy rainy day here today. So, I decided to spread some positivity and post another Operation Beautiful note at the gym today. I posted the following note on the mirror in the women's locker room:

     I hope ithe not cheers up a stranger's day. I checked the locker I put the note in last week and it was still there. Not sure if anyone used the locker or if they just left it. Either way, knowing I have done it twice now raises my spirits and hopefully others!       I got an email last night from my nutritionist analyzing my food diary. I am still lacking a bit in calories, protein and fat, but making progress. Where before I probably would have thrown in the towel at this point because I would assume I would never get better, today I am not. Her email was not negative in any way, but encouraging. She gave me tips on how to keep improving and told me that those points are not the only focus, hunger and fullness are issues to focus on as well. When I wrote her back I explained I would really try harder this week (and longer) to get to these goals she would like to see me at. But I was also honest,  telling her that some food still scares me  as well as the idea I am eating too much or more than I think I should . She reassured me that eating more would actually do the opposite of what I think (weight gain) and speed UP my metabolism (weight loss). So, where I have known this in my head, reading it again has reinforced the idea and keeps me motivated to keep going and moving forward.
     Now, on to the fun Saturday stuff. This afternoon we are heading to my favorite running store in Chesterfield. Then tonight the husband and I are heading to St. Louis for a little staycation . He found a great deal on a hotel downtown, so we are going to go out with some friends, watch the Mizzou basketball game and see where the evening takes us. Emilio is having a slumber party at Grandma and Grandpa's and Lucy is going to have a quiet evening at home with Grandma and Grandpa checking in. Should be a fun evening after a long week! Have a great Saturday and spread some positivity!

Whirlwind of a Friday

    TGIF again!! It has been one whirlwind of a Friday! Time to go home, have some wine, and enjoy the weekend with my husband. No real plans set yet still, but tonight may just involve some couch time (and takeout and wine) with tomorrow involving more of an out and about evening in St. Louis. Whatever I do, I am motivated ,after all my steps forward this week, to keep on the right track!! Happy Friday everyone! Cheers!!

Piece of (carrot) Cake

      One of the principles of mindful eating is "If you don't love it, don't eat it, and if you love it, savor it." Today, I applied this principle to my life and I am rather pleased with myself! Today a birthday of someone at the office. So, in celebration of her birthday, there was a GIANT carrot cake in the kitchen all day. I saw it this morning as I was grabbing some coffee, and was offered some but passed at that point. But I knew I wanted a bit, at least a taste. So, when lunch rolled around, I cut myself a little piece to try at the end of my lunch. This in itself was a big step. Before, I would have PASSED completely and thought about trying the damn cake all day long.
      So, I ate my normal healthy lunch and then it was cake time. I took out my spoon and dug in. The first bite tasted just ok. By the third bite I realized it really didn't taste NEAR as good as I had it built up in my head. So, with that I applied the principle " if I don't love it don't eat it"  and with that I threw the rest away. BAM!! Mindful eating and really wasn't all that hard at ALL!
     I emailed my nutritionist who was really proud of me. Both for having a little dessert at lunch and second for the mindful part of it all. Positive reinforcement. LOVE.
     So, far this week I feel I have taken a lot of steps in the right direction, with healthy eating, trying new recipes and mindful eating. I am now ready for a fun weekend. No plans really made yet, but after the stressful week we have had here with the job changes, I am sure some fun (and cocktails) will be had! But tonight, the pups and I are just going to relax on the couch and watch the new episode of Jersey Shore! Happy Jersday all!

Chillaxin' together

Promotion of a YUMMY Product

     I was on Pintrest last week and discovered a new product I have fallen in love with ....

 It is called Bell Plantation PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter. You take 2 tablespoons and mix it with about 1 tablespoon of water and voila you have peanut butter! BONUS it is lower in calories and fat, only about 45 calories and 1.5 grams of fat for those 2 tablespoons that go far! I had it on my banana bread tonight and loved it, I also added it to my shake for tomorrow morning. I highly recommend it! I bought my package of it from www.netrition.com but you can also get it from the product website http://bellplantation.com/. I recommend it for peanut butter lovers, which I am. It tastes good, is nutritious and lower in fat and calories, winner!! Enjoy!