Just Another Manic Monday!

     I heard this song and all I could think was I hope that isn't how my Monday ends up. But, regardless of what I wished it did turn into a little bit of a manic Monday for this chick. But the good part is at least it is pretty much over! First, a recap of a weekend before I get to the nitty gritty!!
     Weekend was a good time! Friday night we went and visited some great friends , Katie, Mike and their son Brady, at their new house WAY over in Missouri. It really wasn't far at all but I teased her about it some because her family did as well. Katie and I have been friends since we were in first grade, it is so surreal sometimes to be visiting now with husbands, kids and new houses. But, it is so fun and always great to see them. Saturday night we had a fundraiser for Jeremy's boss to attend. We went to dinner before the fundraiser with some old and new friends which was fun. We had cocktails and more fun at the fundraiser. I had some good girl talk with a good friend , Sam, who was so supportive and kind in everything she said. She told me she still reads my blog and just encouraged me which meant so much!Hopefully we can encourage each other as much when we run our half marathon in April! Sunday was a much needed veg day. Love those sometimes. Yes, even me, Ms. Non-Stop!!
    As the weekend wrapped, it was on to this manic Monday. I have to be honest I am really struggling with the intuitive eating and body image thing at the moment. Part of me wants to blame it on "girl time" and part of me thinks maybe it is just a low. I know I am due for a tune up with my nutritionist and have scheduled one for late next week. I am struggling because I feel like my body is not changing at all through my better diet and my hard work. That it is instead revolting a bit or not responding at all. Although I have been reassured I am doing well, it is getting very difficult for me to believe it. Very hard to keep trusting this. Very hard to NOT fall into old habits, the quick fix. But I have calmed some and have vowed to not fall into the old habits. I know those aren't healthy and will not work long term. I believe realizing this is a good step. The staying focused and believing in myself is what I am struggling with most. I told my nutritionist that I know what the intuitive eating phases are and I understand them to a point but I know a part of me is not fully accepting them. She assured me that could in fact be the case and often is because it is scary to fully embrace these concepts. However, I realize that I need to quit being scared and embrace this. So far this process has been scary and eye opening at points, why still be scared? So to take steps in the direction of fully embracing all the concepts, I am re-reading the book I have and taking new notes. Trying to stay positive. I can't lie this is all hard. Very hard.
     On top of the body issues I had going on in my head today, I also had a rather tough afternoon at work. Again, girl time helps nothing, but just had one of those Mondays I couldn't wait to end. And it did. I do tend to fuss some and worry when I have a tough day like today but my wise Mother did remind me to just breathe and let it go. One would think I would finally grasp this concept as it IS tattooed on my wrist. Baby steps. But Mom would be glad to know that  why I did still fuss and worry, I did also sit back on the couch and relax some. Blogging is part of that relaxation for me.
     So, now it is on to Tuesday which is hopefully less manic than Monday. On to re-educating myself on intuitive eating and staying strong through this process. To not let me get me is the goal of not only the week but the goal of this whole profess.

Piece of (carrot) Cake

      One of the principles of mindful eating is "If you don't love it, don't eat it, and if you love it, savor it." Today, I applied this principle to my life and I am rather pleased with myself! Today a birthday of someone at the office. So, in celebration of her birthday, there was a GIANT carrot cake in the kitchen all day. I saw it this morning as I was grabbing some coffee, and was offered some but passed at that point. But I knew I wanted a bit, at least a taste. So, when lunch rolled around, I cut myself a little piece to try at the end of my lunch. This in itself was a big step. Before, I would have PASSED completely and thought about trying the damn cake all day long.
      So, I ate my normal healthy lunch and then it was cake time. I took out my spoon and dug in. The first bite tasted just ok. By the third bite I realized it really didn't taste NEAR as good as I had it built up in my head. So, with that I applied the principle " if I don't love it don't eat it"  and with that I threw the rest away. BAM!! Mindful eating and really wasn't all that hard at ALL!
     I emailed my nutritionist who was really proud of me. Both for having a little dessert at lunch and second for the mindful part of it all. Positive reinforcement. LOVE.
     So, far this week I feel I have taken a lot of steps in the right direction, with healthy eating, trying new recipes and mindful eating. I am now ready for a fun weekend. No plans really made yet, but after the stressful week we have had here with the job changes, I am sure some fun (and cocktails) will be had! But tonight, the pups and I are just going to relax on the couch and watch the new episode of Jersey Shore! Happy Jersday all!

Chillaxin' together

Going Out of My Comfort Zone

     Everyone has comfort zone, or a routine of sorts. Things they are more than comfortable doing and things that make them go "eek!" or "nope, not gonna happen!". Well I have decided to try to push OUT of my comfort zone a bit to help further my progress on my path to health and balance.
     Anyone who know me knows I am routine kind of girl, that's just probably never going to change. Thanks to a Father and Mother (more the Father) who are pretty much the same way, I got stuck with that trait. My brother, somehow escaped it. Anywho, while I don't really intend to break any of my daily routines soon I do plan and have already stepped out of my comfort zone a bit.
     I do not like confrontation much, who really does? Unless you are from Jersey or on any of the Real Housewives series confrontation probably makes you a bit uncomfy. But today I was forced to confront (albeit through email) my former personal trainer and tell her I wasn't coming back to classes for awhile. I wrote a short and sweet email saying I am changing many things in my life, I do not mean to offend and that was pretty much the entirity of the message. I know its not MUCH of a "confrontation" but to me it is (baby steps again). Because before I probably would have made excuses as to why I wasn't coming to class until she just left me alone, but today I tried to take the bull by the horns (in cyber space) and stop with the excuses! I feel good about it and feel good about being honest, not just beating around the bush!
     Another situation that is outside my comfort zone, and I have already mentioned in a previous post, is that of weighing myself. This has the tendency to lead me into a tizzy of sorts. However, I have decided that this week, before I go back to my trainer, I am going to weigh myself. I am doing it so I can see what kind of progress I make with my trainer as well as a challenge to myself. I am challenging myself to see the number as just that A FREAKING NUMBER, not as some sort of numeric indicator of how good, bad, pretty, ugly, skinny or fat I am. I am going to try to go into it knowing I am doing GOOD things for my body now (finally!) and that regardless, I am strong and  am feeling the results of my sessions with my new trainer. That what is staring back at me the day I choose to weighh is solely a NUMBER! It is real silly that the act of getting on the scale has become THIS big of  deal to me, but it has, and its something I can change. And will.
     So, so far for the week, those are the first two things out of my comfort zone I am attempting! I will keep you posted! Now, its on to a day of house cleaning, errand running and a Sunday dinner with my parents. Happy Sunday All!