Been Thinking

     Well, the weekend went too fast again and now it's already Monday night! Bloomington was a good time as usual. Good to visit with the family and Miles. I always crack up watching Jeremy and Miles together, they are almost the same person sometimes! They laugh just the same...seriously its scary. All in all it was a good time, but again I had a little setback.
     I won't get into all the nitty gritty of the setback, because to be honest its exhausting to keep going back there and I am a little upset with myself over it. I know I am supposed to relax about it all and know it is part of the process, but it's getting old! It is like I come so far and have all the best intentions and then WHAM three steps back. It is almost like a small part of me sabotages the larger part that is trying to be strong and get better. I try to relax about it and I do handle it a little better than I used to, but I would just assume not be in that position at all. My nutritionist has some ideas to talk with me about during our session tomorrow. She wants to share some thoughts and exercises that will help me out when I am struggling or facing tough situations when it comes to this stuff. I am going to really listen and incorporate these from now on. I think, again, part of me hears and understands it all but there is some part of me won't fully embrace it. I think it is the same part of me that sabotages progress at certain times. I really want that part not to rear its ugly head so often, I  am so fed up. I just want to be better. I think I will,  this is just all going to take a long while.
     Man! I am a little bit Debbie Downer today but feels a little better to have it off my chest! On the brighter side, I got my new cookbook and am planning to try out a new recipe or two this week! I already tried some new protein bars tonight, not bad,  but also not the greatest, but  tasted alright. Definitely what we call "Jen food" in our house. 
     So, I am going to try to keep my head up right now. I have to look at the progress I have made and remember that this is about progress not perfection. As a perfectionist, this is pretty hard to fully embrace, but I am going to try like hell!