A Success and a Step in the Right Direction

     Well, pizza night was a success last night in the Dunham household for both me (with consumption) and Jeremy (with cooking). He was so proud. He wanted to be sure I posted the pictures of the pizzas on here today. I am sure you will be able to note which is mine (veggie) and which is his (LOADED meat). Here they are:

    Look delicious right? They WERE! And I enjoyed every bite! I practiced my intuitive eating skills and ate until I was satisfied, full and comfortable. No uncomfortable fullness afterwards for me, the same may not be able to be said about my husband (he LOVES his pizza). But I was very proud of myself. This was definitely a big step in the right direction, I would like to think I made my nutritionist proud. Also, I had NONE of the negative thoughts, either last night or this morning, that I often had in the past with dinners like this. Again, another step to be proud of!
     After indulging in this delicious pizza, we sat down to watch American Idol. I became semi-disinterested fast. Well, except for watching the video my mother in law sent of her doing the dance one of the contestants did! So, I picked up my "Operation Beautiful" book and read a bit more. The idea last night that stuck out with me was the statement that "our body image reflects much more than our appearance, it reflects how we feel about our lives in general" (p.68). When I read this it stuck with me. I have struggled with this disordered eating and bad body image for about 5-6 years now. Well, with the exception of the last 6 months I had a job that I wasn't completely satisfied with, especially towards the end. I had always wondered if my unhappiness with my job played a roll, and it is pretty darn clear it did. I left that job in July, thank GOODNESS! And today, yes, I am still struggling with this to some degree, but I am turning it around for real this time. Not the half-hearted attempts I made in the past when I had my previous job. I can already tell a difference in myself (and my mom says she sees a change too). My motivation is MUCH higher than in the past to really get well. To learn to LOVE myself, ACCEPT myself, BE STRONG, BE CONFIDENT, to LIVE my life and quit fussing over these insignificant matters. So, needless to say this struck a chord with me and stoked the fire for change a little bit more! Turns out, although change is scary, the changes I am making in both the past year (job) and at the moment are the best for me. Funny, I was so scared of it.